Who wouldn’t want to work at Google? The whole HQ looks like an amusement park with FREE food 24/7 & if an employee of Google dies, their spouse will receive half their pay for 10 years as well as stock benefits, and any children will receive $1000 a month till they turn 19. Source
let me tell you a story about the google headquarters
so my uncle works for google and I went down to visit him once and he took my family on a tour of the google headquarters just for fun. there was tons of cool stuff and art and a random jungle themed room and the most crazy ass 360 degree google earth screen thing you ever saw
but you’d kind of expect all that right
but then I started to notice something kind of weird
there was a weird amount of rubber ducks? like. a WEIRD amount of rubber ducks. like typical yellow ones and camo ones and huge pink ones with bows and tiny donalds and pirates of the carribean themed ducks and bejeweled ducks with no explanation on nearly every surface
so i asked my uncle why there were so many ducks and this is what he said:
"google has a suggestion box for employees to use, and one time this guy got hired at google who had previously worked for another company. the other company also had a suggestion box but they never actually listened to any of the suggestions, so the new employee assumed that google would be the same way. so as a joke, he put a suggestion in the box at he google hq that said something along the lines of "great office but needs more rubber ducks." a week later, 5000 rubber ducks arrived in the mail"
google read this guy’s bullshit suggestion about ducks
and actually listened to it
AND ORDERED 5000 RUBBER DUCKS
1) a rock
2) a color
3) a daydreaming female with a tendency to think too much
Re-reading: Harry Potter
did this kid in my old spanish textbook call someone and ask for their phone number??
You know what my favorite thing about the Pokemon TCG is? The attack names:
And my all-time favorite:
which country has the most birds
thats a language
don’t you mean nice redovery
turkey, how did we miss turkey
If a catastrophe caused the Internet to crash, there are 7 people in the world who have keycards that can reboot the system when all 7 keys are used together. Source
It’s getting to the point where technology is indistinguishable from magic.
"Oh, no, the MASSIVE INTANGIBLE LIBRARY OF INFORMATION which allows humans all over the planet to communicate and share information has ceased functioning! Call upon the seven sages whom hold the artifacts which will repair it!"
Dude its even better than that, they have to journey to a certain location in america to combine their codes into the Master Code which can revive the internet.
"Watching gay media will make kids gay."
Well I don’t know about you, but seeing 12492394294 straight couples on tv, in movies, in books, in magazines, ads, and comic books never once made me straight.
"yeah but what’s your birth name???" lmao nice try, kira
Assassin’s Creed with kittens.
Okay, when are we going to get playable kitten assassins Ubisoft? Don’t gimme that double your development schedule garbage either.
guide to the sexualities
straight: gotta be skinny as a stick. can’t be curvy. gotta be straight. straight as a ruler.
bisexual: you can only be attracted to two people in your life. choose wisely
pansexual: you have to be attracted to literally everyone. sorry bud i dont make the rules
polysexual: attracted to only the finest polyester fabrics
asexual: attracted to anything that starts with the letter a. ants? yep. agriculture? you got it. the alphabet? you better believe it buddy
The Messengers: Taken on May 26th, 2013, this was a dissipating low precipitation thunderstorm near Broken Bow, NE that produced one of the best lightning shows I have ever witnessed in my storm chasing career. Even more beautiful was when the lightning lit up these incredible mammatus clouds in the night sky. These type of clouds are often associated with severe thunderstorms, and their ominous and foreboding appearance is a message to all that severe weather may be on its way. Photographer: Anne Goforth